We all know how this wretched sentence ends, either literally or via inference. Thanks to the World Childless Week team for sharing my piece, The Many Faces of Love: You’ll never know true love until you’ve had a child, an Involuntary Childless Infertility Survivor’s Rebuttal. You can find it on their site here, or visit their FB page here. Today’s theme is Comments That Hurt.
How to participate in World Childless Week? Well. On one level it’s easy. I encourage you to visit their site and/or FB page to read and like posts. Since World Childless Week is an awareness campaign, sharing posts and especially sharing them with the good ole outside world is important.
This is where, at least for me, it gets challenging. I realized this when the other day I ran across a commenter on another blog that essentially said she’s put the word out about WCW and heard crickets, and how are we supposed to get the word out when we are basically ignored like lepers? So of course I burst out laughing. Her comment rung true and got me back in touch with the risks we take when we share and post on infertility and involuntary childlessness – the usual crickets, perhaps awkward looks or exchanges when we see people in person, or even having to moderate the mainstream dipshittery that can often happen in response to the sharing of our experiences. I haven’t had any of that this week, thank goodness, and I did get a warm response to my #IAMME picture (which I admittedly hesitated to post). But the risks are there and can be felt deeply on a visceral level. On the other hand, we will reach people and make them feel less alone, and we just may be changing the world little by little in ways that are not yet clear.
Many aren’t ready to share or be “out” with this experience and that space needs to be honored. There are phases of grief where sharing and fielding responses is the last thing someone needs to be doing. Looking back, I wish I was wiser to this in my own process at the time, however being silent was just too strangulating for me. Either way, I know you will honor where you are and if you are in a place where you can push through the natural trepidation, do consider sharing one piece via mainstream social media this week. If my piece doesn’t resonate with you, there are a bunch of spot on, well written and thought-provoking pieces on the WCW site to choose from.
Another thing to consider – the #IAMME campaign. #IAMMME was created by blogger Cherry Williams. The general idea is to show we are a diverse group of people who are shaped by other things beyond childlessness. You can read her post here.