Future Generations

Proudly (yes, proudly!) passing on our infertility experience

“This possibility was never mentioned” my husband would often mutter in the days and months after we lost our children. Shaking his head, he would go on to point out that the fact some of us do not get to have children is nowhere in our collective human conversation. Instead, both of our childhoods, despite their drastic differences nationally, socio economically, and educationally (He’s from El Salvador) were strewn with the same verbal presumptions: “one day when you have kids”, “you can show your kids some day” and “I wonder what your kids will be like” to name a few. Notably missing: a nod to the not as unlikely as you’d think possibility this having kids thing might not get to be. Read more

Putting Infertility in the Annual Christmas Letter

Here’s ONE small way to crack the taboo…………

I really didn’t think I’d be posting about anything Christmas.

I’m not a “Christmas” person. I despise the short days, the impotent sunlight, and the impending if not already present cold. The sheer length of the season coupled with the commercial rigor defies any standard of sanity. Since my teen years I found the buildup to one freakin day also culminated into a bit of a let-down, and I’m not a big fan of the flu season or of the depleted physical energy that comes with trying to stay warm either. Oh, and snow boots and sweaters and dressing in layers – so NOT hot. So with most of the above being in play for a short six weeks or so now, I’m already anticipating the planting of my seedlings in April, and planning my May/June garden designs, as that’s truly where my heart is. While visions of sugar plums and assorted holiday paraphernalia may very well be dancing in other people’s heads, visions of soft shell crabs, sauvignon blanc, flowers blooming, warm sunny days and lingering with good company into balmy nights are what dance in mine during this time of year. Not to mention our infertility journey has left me with the definite need to keep the stuff with which Christmas is primarily infused – myth, legend and fantasy – at arm’s length. Read more